Adam has been on a numbers kick lately. For example, he likes to count all of the sections of fence around the pool we go to, or all the legs on the whump in "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish."
I suppose that's pretty typical, and Kate has been starting to pick up some of the same tendencies. She was counting the strands of spaghetti that she had plucked off her plate and arranged side-by-side on the table the other night.
Adam spent a few days fascinated by the concept of "zero." He would ask me over and over again if certain things were zero. Sometimes it seemed like he had the concept, other times...well...
Julie's mom and dad sponser a child in South America. Bolivia, I believe, but I could be wrong there. Believe it or not, his name is..."Melvin." I wouldn't have thought that there were any Melvins to be found in your Latin American countries, but there he is -- or a picture of him is, anyway, posted on Julie's mom's fridge.
It was my intention, and I'm sure Julie's as well (although we never discussed it) to never use the "eat your food because there are starving children in (insert third-world country here)" tactic that was so common among our parents' generation. For one thing, it never works (the classic response is "WELL SEND THIS BROCCOLI TO THEM THEN!"), and for another, it just kind of seems...I dunno...demeaning somehow.
But Julie's mom is from another generation. Furthermore, both her parents are unbelievably generous in helping us out with the kids, so when her mom started with the "eat this, because poor Melvin doesn't have enough food to eat" or "play with this toy or I'm sending it to Melvin because he doesn't have anything" comments, I let it slide. Adam eventually picked up on the theme, and would frequently tell me "Melvin doesn't have anything, daddy."
The other day, during the "zero" fascination, Adam took it a step further. To wit...
"Daddy, Melvin doesn't have anything. Melvin is a zero."
Of course, that led into a brief discussion about the value of human life, etc., but I'm pretty sure the boy saw me trying to stifle my shameful laughter.
Speaking of shameful, I am filled with nothing but the deepest shame for the nickname for Melvin that I share only with Julie, and now with you: Starvin' Melvin. There, I said it. I'm not proud of the fact that I giggle like a schoolgirl every time I say it, but that's just the kind of person I am, I guess.
Oh, and while we're on the concept of zero, "zero" is exactly what Adam was wearing the other day when I had to chase him around the yard. We had the sprinkler out, and the kids were running through in their little swimmies -- right up until the point when Adam decided to go all Woodstock on us and run around naked. Frankly, I would've just let him go, but the neighborhood was all in a tizzy a few years ago when another neighbor used to let her kids run naked in the yard.
Anyway, it was a couple of minutes before I could catch him. The boy has some moves, I'll give him that.
Changing gears entirely, I'm working on a treatment for a new tv series that I hope to pitch to the networks. I'm having trouble deciding on a title -- please let me know which you prefer:
- America's Most Flatulent
- So You Think You Can Fart
- Farting With the Stars